”Boys are also abused”


2008-07-11
GERMANY What happens if a stranger is acting weird in the swimming pool, or wants you to come home with him and play video games? Paedophiles use calculating strategies to attract children, who often don´t understand the ulterior motive. In Berlin, boys between 9 and 15 years old learn the warning signals through interactive theatre.
 
Berliner Boys_250pxThe organisation Subway Berlin has been running the project Berliner Boys for a few years and Childhood has supported the project since 2007. The aim is to equip young boys with knowledge on how paedophiles act to get in touch with children, and teach them how to say no.
 
Subway Berlin has been working with male prostitutes in the German capital since the beginning of the 1990´s. Each year, nearly 1 200 boys are helped and supported in different ways. Social workers from Subway Berlin seek out young prostitutes in bars and on the street to offer support and tell them about the Subway drop-in centre where medical care, counselling, leisure activities and a place to sleep are offered.
 
ABSCENT FATHERS
Boys coming to the centre are between 15 and 25 years old, and many of them have been sexually abused as children. As the manager Lutz Volkwein discovered this, he wanted to start a project aiming to prevent young boys from becoming abused.
 
– A lot of people don´t want to believe that sexual abuse also happens to boys. When working with boys in this field, it is most often about preventing them from abusing women. But boys can also be at risk. And while girls often suffer abuse at home, boys are at risk most often outside of their home environment, Lutz Volkwein says.
 
Berliner Boys_300pxBerliner boys are operating in Neukölln, a part of Berlin with a large number of immigrants where many families are living under difficult social circumstances. Many boys spend a lot of time on the streets, as the situation at home is hard to handle. Absent fathers are common and the lack of male role models a big problem. This is something that paedophiles takes advantage of, explains Lutz Volkwein.
 
– The boys are often happy about the attention that is given to them. The paedophile hides his intentions very well and seems like a nice guy. They often offer boys cigarettes and beer, and invite them to come and watch TV or play video games.
 
NOT EASY TO SAY NO
When a boy has started to trust his older friend, the paedophile makes his move. When something happens, the boy very often feels ashamed, guilty and insecure about what really happened.
 
In order to teach young boys how to recognise common paedophile strategies and be able to say no before anything happens, social workers from Berliner Boys visit schools to hold workshops for boys between 9 and 15 years of age. At first, a story is told where a boy gets to know a man who eventually starts to try and touch him. After that, the boys get to act in the play themselves to practice how to protect themselves.
 
– At first they are confident and think it´s easy to say no. But after a while they notice how hard it can be to set boundaries, says Marek Spitczok von Brisinski, one of the social workers leading the workshops.
 
DIFFICULT TO TELL
During a workshop recently, a boy revealed that he had been abused for a long time. The workshop gave him the courage to tell about it when he finally found support from his teachers and the staff from Berliner boys.
 
– It´s extremely important to anchor these problems among parents, teachers and even the girls in the class to empower boys to talk about these issues. A lot of them are ashamed and afraid of being called a homosexual, says Marek Spitczok von Brisinski.
 
Text: Maja Svenonius
The picture above: A painting on the wall at Bubway Berlin.
The lower picture: Lutz Volkwein and Marek Spitczok von Brisinski wants to protect young boys from abuse.
 
FACTS:
Common strategies among paedophiles wanting to get in touch with boys:
 
1. Paedophiles hang around where boys hang out; in malls, swimming pools, playgrounds or in chat-rooms on the internet.
 
2. They systematically try to make the boy trust him, for example by showing interest in activities that boys are fond of, asking them for advise and taking boys seriously.
 
3. They award boys with gifts and money, encourages them and show interest in them.
 
4. To get close to a boy in privacy, the paedophile tries to create conflicts between the boy and his friends and family.
 
5. He tries to make the boy to keep secrets through threats, guilt and blackmailing. (“If you tell anyone I will tell your friends you are gay”)
 
6. Finally, the paedophile abuses the boy sexually by crossing boundaries step by step. He first touches the boy “by mistake”, but the touches become more and more sexualised.
 
Source: Subway Berlin
 

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